A question for all women on this site...

If all a guy wants is a girlfriend is he taking the time to build a relationship? Make friends and maybe a girl you enjoy talking to will fall in love.

sad to say I am going to have to agree with Xueli and Bookwatcher. I was told a lot of times in life that you cant start a relationship with someone without being friends first. It all starts with friendship. I hated hearing that when I was younger, miserable and alone but it does make sense. you should date and know the person or even be friends first you should know by being good friends if you click. saves the trouble of heart break when you just dive into a relationship with someone you don't really know. (story of my life) -__-

Well, I can't really defend the other side with experience as I have very little of it. But I do want to point out that becoming friends with the person in order to date them will make the ending (assuming it ends) very awkward. Maybe some friends can handle it, but let's just consider this scenario. Boy sees attractive girl. Boy tries to become her friend with the intention of dating her. She accepts his friendship but rejects his request to date her. He crashes hard inside but stays quiet, tormented by his desire for something more than friendship. Every time they hang out, it eats away at him slowly, but he doesn't want to be a jerk or rude to her so he remains her friend. There are several ways to remedy the situation, but people severely underestimate that inner torment. It's nobody's fault, it's just the way relationships are. Now if he had become her friend without any intentions of dating her, they would be like any other pair of friends. Perception is an extremely unforgiving thing. The other scenario is that she accepts his friendship and his request to date her. Things go well for a while and then they break up for what ever reason. Now what? Can they still be friends without desiring one another like before. Do they stop talking because it's too awkward? Do they keep getting back together and breaking up over and over? Are there variations to these scenarios? Yes, there will always be examples of exceptions, but the success stories are few and far between and using this method is time consuming and starts a vortex of complications. Why can't two people enter a relationship under the prospect that they know little about one another, are physically attracted to each other, and if it doesn't work out, nobody has any obligations to stick around. Friendship is indisputably an obligation. Is not really knowing scary, sometimes. Other times it's exciting. We're all scared of the horrifying stories we're force fed when we're young.

I second sands post. If you become friends with that person, yes you get to know them, but a lot of times, you get stuck in that"friend zone", which makes things awkward. Although, I recently was with somebody who I cared a lot for, who also was an otaku, but it crashed and burned because she only wanted something casual. It sucks both ways, you just got to figure out which way works better for you, and keep trying.

to sand and jikokun, there is a difference between go for full out friend before even expressing your interest and going on a few dates to see if you have things in common than just up and saying, hey, I've only known you for a small fraction of time, but do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend? You can start talking to someone but make it apparent that you find them attractive (ergo hinting that you are looking for something more if you get along well).

I wasn't saying you should just go up to the person and ask them to be your girlfriend/boyfriend. But I suppose we should talk about what trying to be someone's friend means. My standards for a "friend" are a little more intense than most people's. I consider people I've only just met acquaintances. They have to work their way up in order to be considered my friend. To me anyway, I feel that if I don't do this, the word "friend" becomes too ambiguous.

Aye, I'm not going to go up to a random person, be all hey let's go out, you're cute, btw, I'm an otaku. Yes, build trust with the person, but don't get caught in the friend zone by waiting top long. I've been there many times >.>

Honestly, when a female says she's just looking for friends on a dating site, she either just loves the attention of boys trying to hit on her or she's just not into the person that she's saying it to (as in she doesn't find him physically attractive, or she's nervous about actually starting something with someone over the internet. This however is just my opinion. I've had a couple of friends that has done this and they would just basically call the guy "thirsty". With this site though, its an anime dating site but most people are here to just talk about anime because some people just can't seem to find some awesome anime conversationalist in their area. Though there are people who are looking for an otaku bf/gf.