Do you have to be attractive to find love theses days?

I'm saying that there are different levels of attraction and different perceptions of beauty. If you walk down the street and talk to someone you may not find her that attractive. But if you get to know her, your perception may change. Also it may change, not because of how she looks one day versus another, but by you liking her personality. Reading your comment makes it seem like your talking about first look. You look and she's either attractive or not, which that would be what I disagree with.

If you sit there and worry about attractiveness in terms of either physical or mentally attractive, then you will have some major issues. People change over time, some will become less attractive for a little bit, and especially as they begin to grow older. My whole philosophy is if someone is sitting there worried about what you look like now, then they are not someone to be with because they have no real future planned out. In terms of personality wise, that also changes. It isn't as apparent, but every experience changes who you are mentally and psychologically, to where your personality changes every single day. Just it mostly sits dormant and overshadowed by what you are strong at personality wise.

The other problem I have with this "attractive/unattractive" false binary choice is that it's overly simplistic. Even when talking about the same two people, the criteria for whether one finds the other "attractive" are going to vary depending on what the observer wants. If you're just looking to hook up or have a casual or short-term relationship, then sure, physical attractiveness is likely to play a bigger role up-front than if you're looking for someone to share the rest of your life with.

Yeah you're saying that while degrading my comment lol. Which had the same exact point as yours. Physical Attraction is also almost immediately known by look anyway. Personality wise, obviously you have to get to know them better but my point still stands, you obviously eventually see it. Because what you're telling me is that if you saw this obese girl who doesn't care for herself whatsoever can be attractive to you while a girl whose curvy and takes care of herself isn't, PHYSICALLY. That's exactly what you're saying. I'm talking about 2 separate attractions while you're combining both into one. Which goes back to my post earlier when i said that Physical Attraction comes first most of the time and then Personality completes the figure. Physical Attraction and Mental Attraction matters as you are now when you're getting into a relationship. Which you build feelings and work on that relationship, Physical Attraction starts to matter less because you obviously change. Mental Attractiveness also slows down but due to the build of the relationship, the significant other also slowly transitions with the Mental change, same as the Physical Change. ^ This is why no one worries about Physical Change and Mentality Change because when you're already in love, the other person meshes with your changes. It's obvious that the criteria of "Attractiveness" is going to vary on an individual basis, but it's also false to say that you can't tell the difference between an obvious Attractive person and one that is not. Almost as if there is a standard for all living things. Let's be honest, if this ALL seriously wasn't an issue, why are you all single right now? lol.

I don't see how disagreeing with what you seemed to be saying is degrading. Also no where in my comments am I saying what you suggest that I am in your third paragraph. But I am saying that an attraction to someone's personality does affect their physical attraction. I didn't say that it dominates it. You seem to be putting people on a scale where either there are attractive or they aren't. There are people who are universally attractive like those you mentioned before, but they aren't common, and there are even some people not attracted to them. There are plenty of people for whom your level of physical attractiveness could grow depending on how you seem them in other ways. These other factors change how your brain responds to seeing the person. If you aren't happy to see someone, you are less likely to think that person is physically attractive.

Lol. You should go back and reread my posts and yours then o_O. I just stated why it's degrading, SMH lol. No you aren't but that's exactly what you're implying. Read your first post of this page (8). I AM putting people on a scale. Because Physical attraction can literally be put on a scale. Denying that is like saying that you've never masturbated before lol. It's BS. Which goes back to the point of what I said earlier since you're ignoring my point. Physical attraction matters first most of the time, personality then completes the figure. That's either for the better or worse. As for your being happy or not happy to see someone, you're pretty much less attracted to their Mentality and not their physical being. Considering being happy is an emotion and that is more mentality based. Yet again, "Physical attraction matters first most of the time, personality then completes the figure." You guys seem to be ignoring my point lol. Perhaps you guys all think I'm pulling for this system. Well for your information, since i doubt anyone's been reading since my very first post in this thread, I hate the system but that's how society works so you kinda have to abide to it.

I'm not sure what you're reading but "you may not find her that attractive" doesn't equal "obese girl who doesn't care for herself whatsoever." And I've never said that physical attraction isn't an essential part of all of this. I do disagree with the place that personality has in this. A stronger personal connection does change how the brain responds. I'm not saying that you'll ever find a severe full-body burn victim to be beautiful because you sit down and talk to her. I'm saying you might find someone who isn't stunning gorgeous to be so when you get to know her. She won't be anymore beautiful than when you first saw her, but your perception will have changed. On the "happy" part: Your emotions can very much dictate how you see the physical world. All of these things are very much interconnected. Your brain doesn't work in a one track mode where physical attraction is isolated from the brain's other functions.

Lol, you still don't get my point. Nevermind. Obviously, but what i'm saying is that Physical Attraction plays a BIG role in it because it's obviously the top sense of 5 that you use when you're "looking" lol. And i don't know who or what you're disagreeing on about "Personality" because I've made it clear that Personality completes the figure. Which it seems that you're still ignoring. So i hope to god you're not disagreeing with me on that because then you're just really proving the point i was making about you lol. Yeah, your emotions can dictate on how you see the physical world. But not being happy doesn't mean that the girl suddenly becomes physically ugly. Disliking the color Blue suddenly doesn't make the blue sky ugly lol. Disliking the color Brown suddnely makes a sea of tall trees ugly? Come on now. What I'm saying is that PERSONALITY completes the FIGURE! How hard is that to understand? lol. If you dislike someone at the time being, you're disliking their mentality of that specific time. The ugly part of their personality if you will. You're not going to hate their damn physical being if you're unhappy lol. smh.

I know what you're saying with physical attraction and personality completes it. But I just think it isn't so simple as personality completes it. I don't understand why you keep assuming that I'm making these extreme examples. I never said that someone would suddenly become ugly. As much as I seem to be misunderstanding you, you seem to be misunderstanding me. This is how I see what you're saying: 1. Guy thinks girl is fairly hot. She gains 70 points of 100 (the numbers aren't important). She likes to play guitar and watching anime, doesn't yell too much so she gets 20 more points. 2. Guy thinks girl is ugly. She gets 30 points. She's not being considered. What I think happens also: 1. Guy thinks girl looks ok. She has 60 points. She also likes guitar and to watching anime, and doesn't yell too much. She gets 20 more points. As he gets to know her, begins to care about her, and the way she looks grows on him how he sees her changes. She now has 70 points from physical attraction.