I Learned Today I've Had a Sister after 30 Years

Again, thank you. That post was me walk it off. True I didn't use those exact words when speaking to him, but it is a blown up version of the discussion we were having. He thinks she has no business entering his life after all these years because he fears how my brother and I would view him. My brother struggled for years to make peace with dad and he is suggesting I and him engage with our sister, but leave him out. So that's the way it's currently going unless dad has a change of heart. I agree I shouldn't be this upset. But it's hard being raised in a loving family knowing all the while another sibling wasn't. It's also difficult because dad made both of us take a 16 hour trip across the country to talk to his long lost father before he passed. Dad got his closure. Why is my sister and her son any different? That's what's hurting me the most. @verucassault @wik @manga_bird @redhawk

No one should tell you how you should feel in these situations. Everyone walks different paths in life that give them all separate and unique experiences. The way you cope or handle this is your way alone. People can offer you guidance but you're not obligated to follow that guidance. I'm angry at my father and his family for how they treated my brother, but I've now had 30 years to come to terms with it. It wasn't that entire side of the family, just my dad's aunts, uncles, and cousins who didn't have anything better to do than to stir the drama pot. I really think all the finger-pointers were just ignorant. Who could blame two kids falling in love, no matter the circumstances? In time, the anger will dissipate.

As a positive note, my brother finally got our dad to agree to having an official blood test with her. - Hopefully it can answer one of her questions if our father won't meet with her to talk. - I forced the issue a bit by threatening to take a blood test with her to confirm we were at least siblings which would further narrow the possibilities. - She already matches with my cousins so we are getting close to putting the mystery to rest. - In addition my brother now remembered who my sister's mom was and can confirm meeting with her at least once being with our father.

Alright! So all the tests came back and we have the official results. - My dad is in fact my sister's father! - That means I officially have a nephew and a lot of catching up to do. - My father still wants nothing to do with either so he's still a prick, but what can blood relatives do but feud?

That's actually insane, that's pretty much exactly what happened to me, except my father pretty much denied it all messed up our family despite all the evidence, stuff sucks... at least it sounds like it wasn't destructive, that's cool you get to catch up with her!