Age Gap Relationships

@cupcakerin: Oh, I know what you mean. In that other site in which I'm a member of, the May-December Society, we discuss such things all the time. The founder of the site, Joe, is a guy in his 60s who has a relationship with a woman in her 20s. They have a 40 year age gap and it was HER who initially approached him. THAT'S the way to go in such relationships! It is the younger individual who must do the approaching. Her parents have gradually accepted the fact that she loves him. But, unfortunately, not all parents are so supportive and some even disown their children. Age gap couples come for advice and support in that site all the time. They find understanding and even legal help there. No, such relationships have NOTHING to do with Pedophilia. Pedophilia is the attraction towards prepubescent children aged 13 and below. And it is unnatural, since the individual is NOT yet biologically mature and able to have children of their own. When we're discussing about age gaps, we're always talking about individuals who are ABOVE the Age of Consent. Now, if a person feels attracted to people aged 16 and above, that's completely NORMAL. Any Psychiatrist will tell you that. It's called Ephebophilia (the attraction towards teenagers aged 16-19) and it's LEGAL in most countries worldwide. But, depending on where you live, it may be illegal to act on your attraction. So, it's OK to feel this way, but it's not always legal to act on it. Provided that 2 people are together LEGALLY, I don't care what their age gap is. It could be 10, 20, 40, 50 years. It doesn't matter. The bad thing is that most people today have no idea what they're talking about when confronted with such issues and terminology. They label everyone as "pedophile", because they lack the necessary knowledge on the issue, and they destroy lives of INNOCENT people. I had an age gap of 15 years with my ex. Her parents also had an age gap of 12 years. Our grandparents back in the early 1900s used to get married at 15 or 16. Were they all pedophiles back then? No! Of course not! Age gap relationships have been the norm for 99% of recorded human History! It is only in recent times that they've come to be considered "taboo". And the crazy thing is that, modern 16 year olds know WAY much more about sex than their 1900s counterparts did... And yet, as a Society, we infantilize them and try to shield them from reality itself. It's stupid. And it's up to OUR generation to fix things.

@Charlie: Yup! The connection problem starts at the 20 year threshold. That's where the generation basically changes. And it's always harder to connect with people of another generation. As for the second part of your presented argument: Being judged by the people... F**K the people man! If you're legal, you have nothing to be afraid of. I never cared about what people said. Always remember: You need to prove nothing to noone. Including yourself. Always be on the legal side and live your life as you see fit with your significant other. ^_^ Even the Bible says it: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Jesus Christ. Simple as that. :-)

good rule of thumb charlie, i use it quite often doesn't always apply tho

It can be difficult to have. It's always important to pay attention to how big of an age Gap you have and around what ages you and the other person are. Some problems that can come up depending on the age Gap severity are things such as finding topics and such to connect on plus the possibility of someone not understanding their own feelings as they are just starting to understand what it means to have a crush or falling in love with someone and you could just be there to week Crush that they believe is true love and then you get involved in something only to be messed up later.

Beyonder: that was an interesting read! yestotally: nothing, I just laughed because "yestotally said I wholeheartedly agree" was redundant xD

Another important thing to consider if you're looking into the aspect of possibly getting into an age-gap relationship versus just your opinion on them would be giving a little bit more time than you normally would before getting into a relationship even if you've established that both of you like each other that way because of the possible difficulties that could arise from my previously mentioned comments. Basically just try to allow things to settle in and see if this team you have going at the beginning keeps on going strong or strong enough for a relationship to endure.

wdym redundant :/

The whole age gap thing is so weird... if you have a 5 year gap in your teens, let's say 14 and 19 it's actually messed up but when you're like 20+ with another person who could be twice your age, it doesnt really matter anymore. I look down upon dating teenagers as an adult because it just feels like using them... My bf was 5 years older than me and I was a young teen and I still don't understand to this day how it was possible for him. Ofc I looked/acted older than my peers but I still (we didn't do any +18 things so I guess that makes it better)...being his age now and thinking about it, it would be an impossible act for me. I have yet to meet a person who is that much younger that I could connect with on an emotional level, and if I did then would think there's something wrong with me :/ IF you really think you like such a younger person then give them time to grow up and find themselves at least but in no way turn it into breeding as well >:(