Instability.

The problem you have with yourself is the rejection of information that doesn't agree with your beliefs. You're unable to adapt your beliefs. You're mistaking subjective views with objective views. You understand the difference between the definitions of those two things, but you're having trouble in practice. These two things are what's causing so much discord between you and everyone else. What you're going to have to do is ground yourself with someone elses in depth help over some time. Unfortunately you also have trust issues which is pushing away any who will help you. So I'll make this easy. I'm telling you right now to trust me. I will work with you to help you, so long as I can determine a serious effort from you.

Or, you know... The therapist probably really is the best route, unless we have some mental health Doctors/workers here (Kind of doubt that. ). Might even want to take a break from here if it seems to be a point of contention.

Being offended is sort of a symptom of the problem. When you're unable to accept information that conflicts with what you already know, you feel that your own belief system is under attack, and so you feel compelled to defend it, even though the person you're talking to never had any intention of hurting you. Objectivity and subjectivity aren't completely separate categories. They both fall under the wider umbrella of perception, and as such, one can affect the other and vice versa, even though they're logically not directly linked. In essence what I'm saying is that becoming rational doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your feelings. They co-exist simultaneously and build on each other. The reason that your feelings are fluctuating into chaos is because of your lack of rationality. What people can't accept isn't that you feel the way you feel. Your feelings are legitimate enough in any circumstance. But it doesn't stop there, it's a package deal. The feeling has to come with the rationality or it means nothing. Without the combination, it WILL lead to people devaluing you, as they feel they cannot rely on you, as your feelings aren't based on anything but a chaotic randomness. Except there definitely is some amount of rationality that you have, which is currently what your feelings are based on right now, the problem is that you're rejecting that rationality. However, how others see you and how you see yourself are two separate matters. How you see yourself is definitely impacted by the positive or negative feelings surrounding you, but the large majority of how you feel about yourself is in your confidence. Confidence is very peculiar in this particular circumstance. To have confidence means that you have challenged your ideas with outside information and determined that what you have at the end of that is the right answer, whether it's your old idea or a new idea. This is a continuing process that takes place whenever anything new comes to your attention. The problem you've had up until now is that you're determined to be sure that your answer is the right one, but you refuse to challenge it with any outside information. Whether intentional or not, this is eating away at you as you subconsciously are putting yourself on edge, as your foundation of your beliefs is flimsy and eroding. That foundation has to be built up with new information constantly. As you gain real confidence, the problem of others accepting you will begin to get smaller. In one respect, you will gain the acceptance of others, and you'll be able to feel that so long as you don't remain in your bubble, and on the other hand you'll feel less of a need to have that acceptance, as much of what you're missing here is within yourself. As far as dealing with drama, what you need to do right now is not involve yourself in other peoples issues. Get yourself together first, and when you gain that confidence that you need, then you can go back to involving yourself with others, and you will have a firm foundation in order to carry on through it. Challenging your own ideas, when you've taken yourself to the extent that you have, may be very painful to deal with at first. This is something that you must deal with. It will get better, but you have to keep to it until it does, and I will be there to reassure you if you need it.

I have a friend who is similar to you in a lot of ways, Foxy. And I don't mean that just because she is trans, she has temper issues, and she get's so offended easily. She gets so wrapped up in idealism that she tends to burn bridges of even her allies and closest friends. Granted. You are not her, so I don't know how useful this would be. But she found out that part of the reason for these intense emotions was that for the longest time, she thought she was bipolar and therefore on medications for being bipolar. Which was only helpful some of the time. She was in fact misdiagnosed however. We found later that she had dissociative disorder triggered by some trauma in her past. Ultimately identifying the actual problem has helped her get a better grip on her life and her temper, even if she isn't quite there yet. I don't pretend to insinuate that this is the case for you, but I think at least investigating that with a trained therapist (As you say you're doing now) might help. If anything, not knowing what she didn't have was what did the most harm for her.

I know how you must feel, but what I'm about to tell you comes from the utmost amount of compassion that I can muster. I tell you this now, because I believe it's the first step that you need to take, and falls in line with what I already told you. You do not have a special gift to know truth from lie. No one does. Not in the way you describe it. I can go into all the details of lie detection that you want to know, as I've studied a bit of it myself. Your habitual behavior of pushing people away and doubting them has only served your confirmation bias. When you catch someone in a lie it validates that bias, and when you're wrong, then you're having a bad day, or there's some other excuse, or you stop thinking about it all with the rejection I talked about earlier. You're going to want to reject everything I just told you very strongly. It may even create a lot of negative emotions within you while you're reading it, but you have to fight through it in order to get better. Believe me. Trust me. I am a force for good, and I am here to help. It's fine if you don't accept everything I said right away, but what you need to do at this very moment is doubt yourself. Self doubt is a healthy feeling to have in moderation. It's what builds your real and healthy confidence.

The stance you've taken leaves me with no choice to provoke you at the same time as telling you the truth, with that truth being the method of provoking you. What I'm here to get you to do is rewrite your belief system, because it is severely flawed to your own detriment. Your sensibilities are another matter, and you can choose to make something of those sensibilities after you've reformed, however the current belief you have about those sensibilities is factually nonsensical. You should feel trapped right now. That's the whole idea. You've put a shell up around yourself which is limiting your world, and internally you know that you can't live like this, so you want to reach for help, but that shell is preventing you from extending your reach too far, and at the same time anyone who helps makes that shell feel ever more claustrophobic. You have to break that shell. You have no other choice if you truly wish to get better. "It's going to get worse before it gets better". It means a lot, and it's very often true, so very often, but it's something to give hope for, because that journey to "better" is allowed to be a mess, because it's going to be one anyways, which means all you have to do is try and you'll get there eventually. You aren't doubting yourself, not enough anyways, otherwise you wouldn't be making the claims that you're making right now. You may come into general contact with conflicting information, but you're not putting that information up for consideration. You're automatically assigning that information as wrong. This is wrong of you to do and it's unhealthy, as well as causing conflict. You're also mistaken about something. What we're doing here isn't to try to change who you are. You're always going to be you, and you will always be unique. You will always be an individual, and to that end you will always be special. You can feel good about that, and you should feel good about that, you have something to offer to the world that no other person does. Perhaps that will be something metaphysical or perhaps something tangible, and maybe constantly or with great singular impact. What we're doing is improving how you understand yourself, the world, and others, because that is the source of your pain. What I am demonstrating to you is not skepticism. It is the truth. There is no foundation that you will allow me to build trust on. You know this. You won't allow anyone this. I'm not asking you to trust just anyone. I'm telling you to trust me specifically. We don't have to go from 0 to 100 instantly. This is a process, and I will remain committed should you choose to do the same. That is the very basis of trust that I am giving to you. At the end, you will have the ability to stand up for yourself, and obtain the confidence you need to push your self out into the world.