Vent

My now ex-husband, has hurt me deeply, I already had trouble emotionally connecting with people. When we got married I thought I could trust him and tell him everything. I've always been a very depressive person but I just never realized it, that sounds really strange i know. A lot of the time I would just ignore my feelings. One day I told him after years and years of these feelings. "I think I'm depressed." He said to me "why ? what do you have to be sad about?" Now people I know what you're thinking, 'That's when you decided to leave him right?'. No, i was just so conditioned by him emotionally and mentally. I just laughed it off even though that hurt so much I wanted to cry. Everything I ever did was for him. Then one day he decided he was done with me, that's right, he divorced me. I was so fucked up that even though he said he didn't love me and that he didn't want to be married anymore. When i was moving out if he asked me to stay, I would have. Now after a long while, I'm with someone new, who knows what went on with me and my ex. My now boyfriend tries to do things for me and give me affection that I have a hard time accepting or reacting properly. He's even said to me that he knows i'm not used to it or that I don't know how to handle it. This makes me so sad, I want to return his affection and treat him right because he is so, so good to me. I've just been messed up by someone who never appreciated me, who never gave me a gift for my birthday and I said that was okay. I could go on and on for years of all the things my ex did but I want to stop thinking about him and move on. It's so hard, I want to be fixed, I want to be happy.

I'm slightly jealous of girls who manage to grow up without any psychological barriers. I'm sensible and thoughtful mainly because I am used to be abandoned, so when I become an option, often I will take the initiative to quit. "That's alright, I can hold it";"I don't need it" ...On the one hand, I see the possible result; on the other hand, I don't like putting them in a difficult and embarrassing situation. I learnt to count on myself rather than others. 会哭的孩子有糖吃/The squeaky wheel gets the grease..They can usually get what they want by acting like a spoiled child...It is not something I dare do,I believe in quid pro quo. This is life~I like who I'm. うらやましいᵎ(•̀㉨•́)و ̑̑

lmao ikr making dank maymays about hitler and the holocaust and the murdering of millions of innocent people is so fucking cool and edgy LOL HELEN KELLER CANT READ CAUSE SHES DEAD but having a dead person in a video thumbnail is disgusting logan paul the biggest retard on earth should just kill himself like jake paul Wow imagine a dead body in a suicide forest?

^Yeah that whole thing was fucking dumb and then he has the nerve to put in his apology "I wasn't doing it for views, I get views anyway." like shit, how can you be so non-self aware? The dude is obviously a fucking clown who has no respect for the dead or anyone for that matter.

@max https://i.imgur.com/dLUEc2d.gif

that was s a r c a s m

Holy fucking shit it's cold outside and it's only getting colder. Not to mention it's going to rain ice and snow tonight. Why can't I just sit in bed and sleep.