Vent

after 2 months straight of diapers and screaming i am yet again being forced to fucking baby sit one fucking day off and back on the fucking wagon fuck off i am not your personal fucking babysitter 2 months fucking straight i had 0 free time it was all spent looking after my fucking nephew and i finally got one free day and now its straight back to fucking watching him glad im so fucking convenient for you

i'm a fucking lozer , i feel way to helpless all the time i sabbotage my own happyness because i think that if i help others feel happy they will do me the same , well fuck that shit -__- All the woman that i loved in my life just want to be friends ,then go out of their way to date some douchebag that hit them or leaves them and shit FFs if thats what your looking for hell i'l fucking punch the shit out of you if you want , i just can't take all this bullshit anymore walking around everyday frustrated feeling like your going to have a hart attack any second Fucking migrain attacks from overthinking everything , allways looking for a reason for everything thats done all these fucking people and yet i cant seem to find someone , to scared to kill myself to tired to go on like this -_- fucking feeling like my lungs are on fire so much damn pressure guess il just tear myself apart again today

me looking after my nephew: did the dishes, cooked dinner, cleaned around the house, sometimes baked her looking after my nephew: cant even do the dishes now that i know what its like to look after my nephew theres 0 excuse for having the house be dirty fucking ridiculous and like hell im gonna help with the dishes im petty enough to hand wash my own bowl than help load the dishwasher for her fuck that