Depression and suicide.

@Lamby You know what? I actually agree with that. In the moments before there's no turning back, you make an affirmative decision on what to do with your life. I believe that when you pull that cord, you'll change the way you value your life.

but with a gun your not plummeting to your death with a chance to change your mind when you see your death, gunshot is impulsive

Yes, last year I was suffering from such an aggressive case of depression, to the point that there was a time, I was taken to my local police station, after I was found crying next to a river,and the reason why I was next to the river in the first place was because I had planed to drown myself; the police officers escorted me home, and a month later, I received the medical help I needed.

My birth mother suggested me to not suicide, due to being sent to Hades. Video game music helps fight my depression more than their origins themselves.

I don't have suicidal thoughts,I daren't have such thoughts at this age, because my untimely death will bring troubles to some people including strangers. Compared with killing myself, I prefer to have eternal life(it has nothing to do with religion) in which I'm bound by time for good.

I think about it. Other times I think how I want to live forever. Depression and anxiety easily tip this scale, Currently I haven't left my house in a week. I have not been on medication since I was 17 but thinking about starting again so I can get some sleep.. 2-3 hours a night just isn't working anymore. I hate feeling dependent on meds to keep a stable mindset. But I hate this feeling more and I hate for the people who care about me to worry.. Sorry for the ramble