I need some advice on something.

Here's the question: Why do people try so hard to be something they're not and how do you overcome that barrier? I have been dealing with this all throughout my life and that's something I felt I needed to ask about. It's like I've been trying so hard, I don't know who I REALLY am anymore, you know?

I would say it's probably because they're trying to live up to some societal or social standard and/or putting on a good face to make themselves seem more approachable and better than they might be in private or with people who know them better. Frankly, it comes down to not giving two fucks what others think of you. On paper, I know that's the most difficult thing to overcome because society in general is very pre-judgmental and first impressions don't always convey the kind of person you actually are. At least when it comes to forming friendships and potentially finding a LTR with someone, it's better for them to at least get a general sense of what you're really about because if they can't like you for who you are as a person, it's hard to be around and have any sense of worthwhile interaction with them to begin with.

Fake it 'till you make it. If you act a certain way long enough you will mold into that role and eventually it won't be a role anymore but who you are.

That's a rough one P.H.A. A lot of people are often told to just "be themselves" But for the most part, a lot of people have a hard time being able to honestly identify themselves. Let's take me for example, I know what I want and what I am striving for. But I haven't had that head on my shoulder for years. Infact turn the time back exactly two years ago. I was in a relationship, and was so miserable because I didn't know who I even was anymore. It got to a point where I was unable to express anything to anyone because someone else dictated my life. There gets to a point, where you believe those around you wont accept you for who you are. This is especially true if the people you keep close, you keep a lot of secrets about your likes, your hobbies, your dreams, etc. It's okay to have secrets, but having too many causes psychological problems for the need to hide stuff. And ultimately it can affect on how you express yourself to new people. As if, people get themselves believing "Anyone is better as long as it isn't me." Heck I thought that way for a good portion of my highschool years. But as I am turning 24 in the near, and with my experiences growing up. I've learned, you can't love another until you learn how to love yourself. You need to be completely acceptable of the person you are. Being open about what you like, what you do, this that and the other thing. The point remains the same, if you don't know who you are. Then it's time to take time and look after the self and look for ones own self happiness. Being in a relationship with someone else CAN help, but the problem will remain. It's not something easy to do, and I am not gonna sugar coat it, it's hard. But once you have climbed out of the barrier most people call their "Shell" or their "Safety Net" the easier everything else becomes. But this is my take on it. Also, no matter how difficult it seems, those who care about you will accept you for who you are. And if you don't have anyone like that, I'm always here to help. =^w^=

I'm going to be honest...I have been struggling with finding my true self for most of my life, trying to find things but always ending up in the wrong places. It's always a struggle to even get up every day and live my life. I have a hard time following Jesus' ways because of this whole internal struggle going on. It's really killing me and I don't know if I can last much longer until I crumble under everything.

I think we all do a little "finding my true self" kind of thing from time to time. It can be quite the daunting task when you want to take the time to find out and the world does not allow for that to happen (i.e. career, school, making money to survive, etc.). I completely agree with Ssendom about"you can't love another until you learn how to love yourself.". At my 32 years of age, I found out that sometimes you have to selfish (not saying that you act like a douchbag) and do what YOU want to do and HOW you are going to go about it. Learning how to say no to take care of yourself is ok. I like to say that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Don't feel bad feeling the way you do. But, don't let it consume you either. Oh, go with your gut feeling...if it doesn't feel right, it is not meant for you. DON'T GIVE UP AND SETTLE! That will make you feel unsatisfied and wanting to flee. Btw, are you hating your job or environment? If it is negative, that can be influencing your thoughts.

I have worked a larger Variety of Jobs in my life trying to find out what I want to do then is even rational to most. All I can recommend is to try your best to try everything your interested in until something clicks. Good Luck its a hard Journey but well work the trip. ^.^