Vent

my cat vomits on my bed sheet and when i come back upstairs because the blanket is gone he demands i let him snooze on my lap i hate this cat https://i.pinimg.com/originals/27/de/41/27de41b89efe997ca5b7f689ceb22986.gif

no more than usual >w>/ im a bad person that acknowledges theyr bad yet refuse to change, instead choosing to wallow in my own self loathing even worse that i have such great people around me that deserve more than to have to put up with my selfish ways I'm bojack https://media3.giphy.com/media/3o6j8fXbqweKIIfCJW/source.gif

oh shush. it sucks feeling that way, tho. i tend to feel the exact same way >_< just keep telling yourself a REAL bad person wouldn't even make it to the self-loathing point. that usually keeps me from spiraling out too hard still haven't seen bojack but holy crap idk how much i want to if it's just gonna remind me i'm a giant piece of shit who wallows instead of getting shit done and becoming the person i think i want to be. ooooof

Can relate to that feeling, it is pretty awful. Something that seemed to help with the self-loathing I used to experience was to ruthlessly critique in a rational way the foundational thoughts that lead to automatic thoughts and feelings of self-loathing, though of course those can at times be difficult to isolate. Self-loathing or no, change, especially wilful change is difficult. It is a kindness that you think of the other people around you and how you affect them. I think it's important to be kind to yourself, as well, though. This isn't to say that you shouldn't make changes; by all means, if you want to make a change then you should. But you deserve better than to feel bad about yourself.

also @songofsisyphus ...just looked at your profile, specifically the dnd 5e/pf 2e bit. on top of the other glaring reasons to progress acquaintanceship, we should be friends >_< if you're on youtube then i know the algorithms presented you with the content creator tulok the barbarian. and if you haven't heard of him check him out! definitely clickbait-y character conceptualization but he's on top of it!