Kids

Man, I definitely want a daughter to whom I can have cute moments with. Such as to play old Guitar songs with and sing with(I'm not a singer, But that won't stop me from singing with her and laughing.) I had a dream recently where me and a little girl whom was my daughter were playing a little ukulele and singing "la vie en rose" and laughing whilst we played and put our heads together with such giant smiles of amusement. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NK9zdPj-os http://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2014/11/17/635517938572105716-1835521934_james-wiens-father-and-daughter-time.imgopt1000x70.jpg I don't have any children of my own, But goddamn I cannot wait for the day I could call myself the father of a beautiful baby girl... Can guys go baby crazy? Honestly, I don't really care If I end up alone, as-long as my daughter loves me and she lives a happy life. I wanna see my girl grow-up and graduate, dance with me at her wedding, aswell as have children of her own. https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13591099_f520.jpg Then die happy. ^-^

In my previous relationship i was gearing to start, now after 6 months of being out of that relationship i have no desire to have them at all.

Kids, that's a rough topic for me. I like them, but over the time it becomes more and more clear that I don't want own children. That has many reasons for it. In my youth I had a clear picture of my own family. Being parent with three children - one boy and two girls. I even had babynames. After I got abused at my mothers home, I came to a children's home. There was a special station with young mothers between 12~16 years old girls. I was interested why the girls was there and decided to took a visiting. I heard many stories from to get excluded by the family till to rape. They also told me about of their daily routine and how much exhausting can be an own child. Most of them had no boyfriend. It opened my eyes that I need to be safe and clear standards before I get a child: A man who loves and won't leave me (and don't deny children), a school graduation, a safe job with job experience and a foundation where my children can live without any suffer. I worked on that goals. In my last IRL(no LDR) relationship I got pregnant by my exboyfriend, but he left me before I got the diagnose "Congratulation, you are pregnant". I lost my baby over a miscarriage. Thereby I developed suicide thoughts and must take a cut off in my life. It's really hard not to think about it. That experience fucks still my brain. Over years I reconize that I'm overhelmed with my whole relationships. Fears that my children can get my bad genes like fructose intolerance etc.. also how to become like my mother makes me fear. How does it works with own children then? Today, I live with two adorable cats in one house and I like to say "my kids have paws".

I'm not the dad type lol I'm not terrible with kids though or dislike them. I'm pretty understanding and forgiving when it comes to kids, unlike many adults. But as far as having my own? No thanks lol i rather not be responsible for another human life lol like having them hate me or blaming myself if they become fuck ups lol

adopted so i can laugh at their reaction when i tell them they are adopted. unless they knew. then i'd be pretty disappointed and regret my life decisions.

In the future when i get more stable and hopefully a better Job. i always thought about Adoption For a Daughter. I think raising a daughter would be frankly the greatest Highlight of my life.. but i think one thing scares me is when they ask what happen to mommy? o.0

^ To be honest with your adopted child. That's the best way and don't hide it. Children can easier process facts than youngster or adults.