Dependent Spouse?

Okay sorry for making such weird fourms but this one is very important to know what other people think of. I guess when I mean dependent I mean kind of clingy but also needy, not dependent where you have to clean their poopoo hole or wash them or something like that, I mean depdendent where they kind of can't make good choices by themselves, they may not know how to exactly do adult things ( paying bills, dealing with money and taxes and all that jazz. ) besides being an adult they also may just fail alot in general and kind of need someone there to support them or help them. So I mean someone who isn't very independent, cant drive maybe is afraid to drive and kind of is very co-dependent on their spouse to take them places and stuff they probably do things they know how to do well like household chores but anything else they aren't good and they often depend on you for it. Would it be a turn off? Or would it bother you over time? Are co-dependent spouses something you'd like or not like?

Traditionally, ladies are raised & taught to find someone dependable as their partners. It takes 2 to tango but 1 must always lead the dance. Otherwise, you'll be stepping on each other's feet.

Though I try hard to hold it back because I don't want to seem like a jerk and my shyness helps a lot with holding it back, I get a little out of hand when I'm in charge. Like somewhat strict to very strict. But I don't mind clingy people, I like the attention. Though I would like time by myself for introverted reasons. Someone that is dependent is fine as well, just don't get mad at me if I make a choice that you don't like. >.>

I think at first appearance, a dependent spouse looks great, someone who is fairly clingy and is always relying on you, its like something out of an anime, perfect 'waifu'. However, life isn't exactly that simple, having one person working, doing taxes, bills driving to places, grocery shopping etc etc can be extremely taxing and just draining on that person. My personal opinion on the matter however is it wouldn't bother me a whole alot that there dependent and just need alot of help / attention with things. What would bother me if they didn't put in the effort to start to learn how to do more things on their own. I was terrified to drive, i took drivers ed and waited a year before i actually did the drivers test so i cram studied for about a week and made it, i still don't love driving new places i haven't been before, its a bit scary but you have to get over things like that. So no, having a dependent spouse wouldn't be a turn off really for me, it would be a turn off if they wouldn't even try to learn or put in effort.

I want someone like that because I'm like that. Like I can get and keep a job but I need a purpose in order to keep it. Having a gf tells me I have to kick my ass into high gear to protect her. So keeping the job would be necessary to make sure she's ok. But I want her like bipolar where we switch roles every now and then. Because sometimes I get mental breakdowns and need someone to support me and tell me what and why to do things. If my partner gets like that then it tells me that it's my turn to take over and be the leader and tell her why to do things. Sorry I have autism and when I explain things they come out weird. I can explain computer and science things in great detail but when it comes to my personal emotions I can't explain them very well. This is why I need someone who can support me emotionally and I can handle the job/work crap. When I have a gf I have limitless energy it feels like. Like no matter what I'll make sure she's ok even if I die in the process.

I think washing is okay since it means more skinship. Also it cuts the cost of using water. I never liked driving because I dislike how others drive for example when they run a red light and such or Sunday drivers...that go too slow. So I don't have a driver's license just throwing this out there. It saves money from having an insurance. I wouldn't mind being depended on long as they don't think themselves a burden and keep on depending just don't expect anything unless a promise is made since I keep my word to those. I wouldn't know of being bothered overtime or not since I've never experience it fully but It'd probably be nice to be depended on. I also wouldn't mind being depended on as long as she protects me. Protect me from what? From being alone. Fighting loneliness alone is a difficult battle. Nothing should be a turn off if you truly love someone for who they are not what they look like is my opinion.

Personally that kind of thing wouldn't bother me too much - in a way I kinda love the idea of someone depending on me. But with that said, I wouldn't like it when they're depending on me for absolutely everything whether it's for selfish reasons or the lack of confidence. I wouldn't mind doing the lion's share of busy work as long as my future wife does at least a few small things herself to help me out or is actively learning to be more dependent. So I guess I'm somewhat in the middle.

That is sort of a hard no from me. I'm looking more for a partner, not really to be someone's mom, for lack of a better term :/ Not to say I'm against being supportive and helping a person along, but I can't adult for both myself and another person 24/7, it's not in my personality.

I'm a fairly independent person myself, while I don't mind my partner relying on me, I don't mind if it's someone who doesn't know how to do things and I'm fine showing them. On that same note, I don't want to feel like I'm basically raising them per say. I just see a relationship more as a two way street as you should do things for your lover to help them and make their day better, not piling things up and forcing them to do it all themselves.

In today's world partners can't be like that anymore. It takes two to tango and one has to be in charge of one thing and the partner another. This is what growing up or being a responsible adult means. Both have to contribute. If one partner is doing all the work I guarantee you that relationship will not last long