Dating and Dealing with Otaku Snubbers

Maybe it's just been luck of the draw, but I've been having some terrible fortune with dating as of late. I've been pouring the last two weeks into getting a relationship off the ground, namely with a woman who lives in my neighborhood whom I've been sweet on for some time. I asked her out, she said yes. We go out a couple of times and it's great; we're clicking on both intellectual and physical levels. And then we get into a conversation about hobbies and passions when everything starts to go south. I mention to her that I'm a lifelong anime fan, and very briefly she gets this look in her eye like I'm the salt of the earth. She makes a comment along the lines of "Oh, well that's nothing we can't fix!" which I was too polite to say anything about at the time. Later on in the evening she starts asking me some really uncomfortable questions like, "have you ever been on a date before?" and "You're not into kids, right?" After I see her off for the night, she sends me a rushed text about how she really enjoyed spending time with me, but that she didn't think she could get involved with someone who liked anime. I politely made the token argument that there's anime for everyone and that if she liked, I could probably sit her down with one that I felt she might enjoy. Monster and Cowboy Bebop are my usual gateway drugs for the older and uninitiated, and it tends to go over quite well. The response? An ultimatum to "grow up or we're through." After that I was so offended, deleted her from my contacts. She still lives close by and I see her quite often, but now she refuses to look me in the eye. I figure that living in NYC, it should be easy to find someone I can gel with without so much effort, but it seems like everyone I get involved with has some really terrible ideas of what an anime fan is, and it's getting both frustrating and depressing to deal with. I make no bones about being an Otaku, but that's just a small part of who I am, and if people get so turned off by that facet of my personality, how are they ever going to get to know me better? This wouldn't be so hard to swallow if this was the only time something like this happened, but I've had to bow out of a 3 year relationship because both my girlfriend and her family disapproved of my love of anime and never let me forget it for a second. With some people it just seems like no matter how smart you are or no matter how well you're doing for yourself, if you're into anime, you're suddenly this underachieving emasculate man-child that holes up in his room with all of his figures and such; never mind if it's true or not. The most outlandish things I own are probably my limited edition game swag (Souls series and Xillia 1&2 statues), A couple of Vocaloid and Adventure Time Funko's, a Miyako figure and my Gundam kit, none of which could remotely be considered creepy. ( You can see those last two here if you're curious: http://imgur.com/a/6VIkv ) I've gotten most of the rant out of me, and I feel a little be better, but I can't be the only one going through this, right? How do you folks deal with people that don't respect you because you like anime? How do I keep a positive outlook on romance when everything seems so bent on pushing me down?

Bro I feel you in every way. I have been in 2 relationships were they or their family couldn't accept things about me. It's so frustrating when you invest so much but one thing kills it all. Some people just don't have tolerance or accept the fact that everyone's different. When people don't respect my personality or hobbies, I just remove myself from them. I'll be honest with you, if they can't accept you and all your hobbies then they don't deserve to be with you. Never change your hobbies or you for anyone else. As far as positive outlook, keep your head up. There is some wonderful girl who loves Anime that is waiting for you. There are 7 billion people on this planet. She is just one in that 7 billion but there's one for you out there. Hope this helped you in someway...

i'm not surprised, the news headlines everything bad with anime and other topics even if they are minor faults.. it just gets blown out of proportion.. and everyone believes the news ...

Close minded people aren't worth your time. If they want to rely on stereotypes to judge you, then it was a good thing it didn't go any further with them. You'll find someone that accepts you and when that happens all of the bullshit you went through before won't matter. Keep your head up bro and keep fighting the good fight.

I've gotten lucky, evidently. I've never had an issue because of anime.Really, I'd say that you dodged a bullet if something as trivial as liking anime is that much of a turn off. It's a hobby, a hobby with a ton of variation and adult themes(Not just adult as in erotica.;)). I'll bet she watches or listens to things that could be misconstrued to immature as well. I'd have a hard time playing nice with someone like that and can only imagine the shit storm you just avoided. By glad, man.:) Anime is not the issue at all, misconceptions are. But, I wouldn't necessarily bring up subjects that may be controversial right off the bat. Then again, like I've said, I've been lucky. I dated an anime dork (Sometimes there's some truth to the lack of maturity, but hers was from coddling family and not anime.),a chick who could care less, but wasn't into anime and now one who will gladly sit down and watch anime with me, even though she never really watched any before on her own. I've only ever been judged via conversation by another guy, but he watched anime as well(in the closet anime loverXD). All I can say is that you'll find those who like it, those who tolerate it, those who've never watched it and those who hate it based on mostly asinine assumptions. Don't worry about losing what sounds like a fool and know that patience is truly a virtue.

To Melonraid... You sound like my twin or something. I also am a bespectacled brother living in the big apple, the mecca, the melting pot... You would think in this day and age that people would be more accepting of other cultures. If they don't understand, ask questions. Find out from the source, why do you like anime, what it means go you. A failure on their part to do so is like hating someone because of what you heard about their race, religion, etc. I see I am not the only one in despair and frustration about the lack of open minds here... And I don't even get as far as having a girlfriend. But I am very upfront about my love for anime, manga, video games, etc. If they don't like it, they will never even taste the privilege of calling themselves my gal pal. It is one of the first things I mention about myself so anyone who judges it won't even be a friend let alone lover. I am fine with people who are not into it, or indifferent, just don't judge or hate me for it. That grow up comment could be thrown back at her. She needs to mature. Grow up and learn to respect people's beliefs, preferences, etc. Grow up and learn that people who are in love with something or have passion don't simply throw it away because you want them to. Would you tell a person into sports to grow up and study medicine? Would you tell an aspiring singer, actor, or model to grow up and become a lawyer? Such closed minded people sicken me. And its anecdotes like this that make me want to move to the other side of the country, where people are said to be much friendlier and accepting.

Oh man, Melonraid, I'm so sorry to hear that that happened to you =\ But what Love Wert said could not be more accurate. She's 1 our of 7 billion. Chances of you finding someone out there that enjoys anime (or is at the very least neutral to it) is extremely high! And whats more, you're in NYC. I consider big city guys like us fortunate; imagine being in some podunk town where everyone is homogeneous in thinking, and they're all pretty cool to the idea of anime...that'd be rough. Back to the topic at hand: you're better off without that small-thinking chick. If she defines people largely as their hobbies, she's going to miss out on some real opportunities. But moving on... Personally, what I do when I reveal to a dating partner that I'm an otaku (and I NEVER say exactly that I'm an otaku. I just say I like anime), I drop it after I play up my strengths and more "acceptable" qualities. Because, lets be honest here, watching animated television (be it anime or anything else) does not exactly scream responsible, 'winner', baller, accomplished, masculine, etc. So, before I even mention that I like anime, I elaborate for a bit on my academic achievements, my job, and my music. I let them establish in their minds "Hey, here's so-and-so, the intelligent, well-paid, nerd that wants to help the world. And he likes to be a shitty DJ and drink with his pals on the weekend.". Then, after some time has passed in the conversation, I casually reveal that I like anime. Now, if she freaks out at this, red flag. If the girl isn't dazzled by you at this point, she probably puts waaay too much emphasis on hobbies and what other people think. Or it could be a simple case that she is misinformed a little, just like most others that aren't keen on anime and Japanese culture. From here, it is your call to try and explain and clear-the-air, or try to end the date. Because you don't have time for that kind of pettiness and you could be spending your time, attention, and money on a honey that is a little more open-minded!

Sorry to hear you have to put up with that kind of shit, but I have a lot of respect for you dude. Too many people feel like they have to hide their hobby just to be deemed "acceptable" in society or some shit like that so it's awesome seeing someone stick to their guns and be 100% honest about the things they love even in the face of adversity. I've always been open about my love for anime and all that geeky stuff but I've never had to go through this kind of thing - even girls I've dated who had minimal to no interest in anime or games and knew I adored them didn't think ill of me at all. There's always going to be a bellend lurking in the shadows who will try and make you feel bad about your hobbies but that's never worked on me because I'm happy and proud of the things I love because they're a part of who I am today. Just keep your chin up, it's a matter of finding the right person and I'm sure you'll find that one amazing girl who will be happy for the things you love, hell she might be into that stuff too so who knows what the future holds :D

Ah geez, thanks for the support guys, I really mean it. I've been down in the dumps for a bit behind this whole nonsense, but it's comforting in an odd way to know that I'm not the only one dealing with this sorta thing. I'll keep at it, and in the meantime, thanks again all!