Random thoughts...

as u being mie fwiend i wiww wawn about mie human being in da tewescope. but what i weawwie need to tawk to u about is da fwying sausage incident i don’t think i tawked to u about this but u weawwie shouwd knuw that i am secwetwie a fwying sausage nut onwie am i a fwying sausage but i am THE fwying sausage that took da wawking cheesebuwgews pickwes. i need uw hewp to escape da pOwOice men because da onwie weason i stOwOe his pickwes was because i was going thwough this thing whewe aww i wanted to do was eat PICKWES and mie mom wouwdn’t buie any. i had nu moneie so i didn’t knuw what ewse to do. i wawked ovew to da cheeseuwgew and took his pickwes. appawentwie thats against da waw but i stiww did it. i awweadie ate da pickwes so i can’t wetuwn them. i asked bobbyjo to put me in a box and send me to nuwth cawOwOina so i am nuw in new engwand i need u to go on a secwet mission and go buie me a pwivate jet u see i can nut fwie anymOwOe so i need someone to send me a pwivate JET NOT A AIWPWANE i awweadie haz 2,345 aiwpwanes pwease do nut send me an aiwpwane.pwease and thank uu i hope u can compwete mie mission.

My eyes! https://media1.tenor.com/images/ecd680e35f536e5690db2dac0e74aeb1/tenor.gif?itemid=13162288 Is this how Yankees talk?

I read halfway into that and the powoice part fucked me up along with the pickles. Thawnks I cn nowo wead da uwus