relationship advice from one geek to all the others

You have probably heard this a thousand times and I'm probably gunna write a short novel here on this subject but I feel as though this has to be addressed for a good portion of the posts I see on here. Stop looking guys. Being happy with your self is the most important thing to finding people. If you don't like your self how can you expect anyone else to. I'm I saying your not attractive? No! Am I saying your not cool? Not at all. But I think this is very important to any person that they know it's better to be happy and single then miserable and in a relationship and if you don't like your self I can almost promise you unless the person has super patience and a +2 confidence building cape for you they most likely aren't going to stick around very long.

so here on this site I mostly see people unhappy with there looks and continuing on what I said first here are your options guys. Change the way you look to what you feel you look like on the inside. I'll be the first to tell you this can be a huge confidence builder. Make your self into the you that you want to be and you will be happy. When people see others that are happy 1 of 2 things happen they get jealous and/or they are attracted to those people you will make a lot more friends and you will have a greater chance of finding someone who likes you. Your other option is learn to like who you are as you are.

The main point of this is that I hope every one here learns to just be happy with your self no matter what you have to do to get that way. I'm not what I would consider the most attractive dude and like the rest of you I'm interested in things most girls my age would find juvenile or childish but you know what I'm happy with the way I am for the most part. If i met my self in the street I would think I was a pretty cool dude so why should I care about what "normal" girls/people think. Given I still get out there and try to make my self better every day. I still think I'm a bit fluffy and I'd like to look a bit more built a bit tougher but I work on that I do sit ups and try to lift weights in my free time but for the most part I am happy with how I am and I don't need anyone to tell me I am cool cuzz I have come to except that I am just that a very cool dude and I hope you all do the same. stay cool guys

I'm happy with myself (for the most part) personality-wise, but again, a lot of this goes back to being "easier said than done". The reason I say that is many in the past give contradictory advice that can work for some, but not necessarily for others. For example: You (and others) have said to "not look". Ok, that does work for some people, but not everyone. Reason I'm saying this is because in my experience, when you stop or aren't looking, that could come off as you're not interested, when in all actuality, maybe you are interested in the one who may be interested in you. Then you have the people who say to keep looking and be persistent. Yes, that can work too, but once again, not for everyone. That can come off as possibly being "desperate" or "a player". All in all, it's kind of a lose-lose situation depending on who you are.

Not trying to to tear apart your advice, it's just that I hear a lot of similar things or contradictory things, so it just doesn't work out a lot of the time. Maybe a good piece of advice I could give myself or others is to try and find something that works for you. If "not looking" is a good option, great. If "looking" is the right option, that's great too.

Any intelligent response is fine with me I enjoy discussing it other wise I wouldn't have put it up. So your response is appreciated if it's agreeing with me or not.

I tend to find my self being disappointed or frustrated when actively try to find some one I find it easier to just let what happens happen but the point of this topic I posted wasn't really the look or don't it was more me saying to people be happy with your self and others will want to be around you there for if your looking or not giving you a better chance of finding some one who will be compatible with you. Though I do agree different things work for different people I find a good balance of not looking but still being interested works for me. It lets me be my self comfortable in front of who ever it is because I'm not really expecting anything while still staying interested if I see signs of interest from the other person.

I mean, I'm happy with myself a little bit, but not entirely. I like who I am, being a huge anime/gaming nerd, having a (very) bizarre sense of humor, and still being kind/compassionate/caring to those I'm close to. The two biggest things that are making me unsatisfied are the fact that I can't find/get a better job (financially) and I can't seem to get into or stay in a relationship (romantically). I accepted the fact a long time ago that it's next to impossible to have both, so I'm aiming for one of the two. Since I've had extremely bad luck job hunting and am somewhat content with where I am now jobwise, I figure I can at least try to succeed in finding someone who loves me for me and I return those feelings to her. Guess it kind of brings up the fact that no matter what, one can never truly be satisfied unless they have a true will to do so. That is what I truly lack right now, the will to be satisfied.

I get where your coming from man that's why we are on this right? to find some one with similar interests who will get us and like us for us. I'm in cali every one goes clubbing and to raves. Don't get me wrong I'm down to let everyone do there own thing but I find it hard to find people around here who are outwardly into the same things and when I do find someone despite the confidence I show on here I still find it hard to open or hold a conversation as when I was younger i was not pushed to socialize and when I did socialize I was usually made fun of. Not to mention every girl I've asked out in my 19 years on this planet has shot me down with mostly the I just want to be friends excuse. don't get me wrong I'm happy with my self and my life and I love who I am I just don't know how to go about meeting strangers and get numbers or even just making friends with people I don't know.

and that's why I am on here I feel this is a comfortable enough environment where I can be my self and meet new people without my normal shyness and after I get to know someone it's a lot easier to talk to them in person.