Ever been in love?

Long time ago, we were amazing together, we were obsessed with each other. But we were just childhood friends. One day she wanted to be more... The dumbass I was back then, stopped talking to her, I let all my insecurities tell me I'd never be good enough be with her. She came to me crying about her troubles one day and I froze and just left. So for about three years I stopped talking to her. Then finally met her again. Brimming with confidence I wanted to confess my love to her and apologize for the mistakes I made. I didn't. She was so miserable all the time. I didn't even try to cheer her up. Forever a coward, we just grew more distant. Never talked to her again. This part of my life is just filled with regrets, frozen by my own insecurities, I never forgave myself for being such a horrible friend. Ah, I'm the only to blame, and I keep making the same mistakes, I'm such a sadistic masochist. <3

I am currently in love and about to get married this month actually ! Honestly I can't wait to call him husband, he is the best person I've ever been with and is definitely my best friend and wow it is amazing we ever even meet ! List of amazing things: We lived practically across the country from each other so we would have probably never meet, he's from New York I'm from Texas. We just happened to pick the same job title around the same time of year, which is important if we had joined at different times he or I could be rotating out or in of completely different places and never have meet. We got sent to the same place ! They're are hundreds of places we both could have gone in fact I was supposed to go through a special program but I got hurt during the school for my job so I couldn't go. The place we are now wasn't one of my picks of where to go but like I said I got hurt so they sent me here instead. Then after almost are year of both of us being in the military going through boot camp, job school and being magically sent to the same place we finally meet AND I IMMEDIATELY INSULT HIM. But hey that's love for you (-u-*)

From hearing countless stories of love, I sadly have never been acquainted with a true love, for every girl I have dated has found away to hurt me, I see this world through many plain colors and not those expressed by others who sees those "glimmering fireworks" in their mind to the very thought of their love but, I'm happy when I hear of those lovers who have found their matches, may those who have found theirs be blessed and those who haven't yet be blessed with finding theirs :3

I thought I was in love, but I guess it was a silly obsession/infatuation? If that is love, then I guess so, if not, then I've never found nor felt my true love yet.