Experience In the Friendzone

A friendly reminder to everyone that if you date someone in the workplace and you have to break up, you still have to see that person all the time at work.

@neetone: That is very true. This all did happen kind of sudden over the past couple weeks. I am honored that she seems to feel safe with me, considering how much crap she goes through with other guys. Last night was funny when she messaged me to say how awkward it was that her dad though she was going on a date with me that night.

Girls can take you off of a friend-zone. Actually, a co-worker constantly made sure he was friend-zoned then waited patiently to be the next draft pick. Worked pretty well for him. Girls will use you for attention and support even if they have no intention of giving back as much. The flip side is that they pick you as the rebound guy. Remember: girls are just as selfish as boys. You must deal with them as a person and not an ideal. Personally, I've gone through a long term friend zoning. It wasn't unrewarding: just painfully, emotionally draining. Especially when they started talking about their romantic encounters. If I couldn't separate my romantic love I should have channeled that energy into someone who would appreciate it. Also, you would be the substitute for all her boyfriends failings. That's unfair to everyone. Everybody has to figure this out for themselves though.

@robscene pie: totally. It can become a massively awkward situation. tg_bottousai@ sounds like maybe she has some trust issues then. Just give her some time to warm up to you.

@robscene Pie: I suppose it could be. I'm extremely emotionally stable though so stuff like that doesn't usually bother me. In fact I rarely outwardly show strong emotions except for comedic effect and it takes a lot to get to me. @neetone: Well her last boyfriend was rather abusive from what she told me, he's the reason I always walk her to her car at night. She seems like she's very stable, but I guess I never really gave much thought to whether she has some issues hidden somewhere deep in her heart. I suppose trust issues are a possibility, up to this point I've only taken her emotions at face value.

I'd say she wants a close friend in you. As in a big/lil bro to share moments with. Love works in mysterious ways and things might evolve from there but that's really up to her. Just don't repeat the same mistakes I made try too hard.

Woooh! Wait a second. You don't need to "get out" if you develop a crush. just be straight forward with it and admit your feelings before it's too late.

Didn't mean to put words in your mouth Key. Yes, expressing your needs (especially at that point) is key. However, this being a work situation and depending on how much courage he has at that point.. it may be easier to slowly detach yourself instead of confront. I didn't mean "get out" as in yank the cord harshly out of the wall :) I'm still in contact 15 years later with the gal I had to distance myself with.