Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Just had to vent. Found a really smart gal on your typical dating web site. I mean, her type of intelligence was almost exactly mine. You get the feel for these things not only by statements but even phrasing. Anyway, I work up the courage to message her with a bit of funny and weird trivia. The power on my block cuts out for hours and then I get this back: "Hi, Jason! Thanks for the message. I do marketing event coordination for my company, so it's pretty fun. It's been a crazy start to the week. Just to forewarn you - I'm kind of in the middle of a complicated relationship, and I'm just browsing/testing the waters. I'm not seriously looking for dates and may disappear off the site at any time. You seem nice, though! I wish you luck!" DARN DARNDARNDARN DARN!! Her whole account removed. I was actually too taken aback to find such an intelligent gal that I didn't even want to dare think about dating her. I'd just be thrilled to be her friend. I never even got the chance to say that. So, I went and did a no no. I found her on Facebook and appologized for contacting her. Explained the circumstances and asked if I could be "Facebook friends". Now I get to wait and see if she ignores me (rightfully so), curses the ground I walk on or accepts. Of course, there is yet the other horrible option in that she never remembers to check her "other" message folder. Some members here have messaged me last Friday and it was only today that I found the message. sigh.

Poor Jas. You have no luck, buuuuut... You do come off kinda stalkerish. Just strike up a conversation. Don't let the person know you're into them straight away. Actually let them know you mean no harm. ^^

finding them on facebook is definitely stalker-ish *war flashbacks* i did that once in high school and really it's not something i recommend hahaha... ha ha.. ha *crying* I don't want to sound harsh, but If she removed her account i think that's a clear sign she's not interested, had she wanted to keep in contact with you she would have given you her info herself :/ But i guess you never know, so if you like her i guess it was ok to do that... she will probs either ignore you or respond so either way you have nothing to lose right? :) stay positive.

Yeah.... And another thing, jas... You also freaked me out a little, to be honest. I realized you must've used my email to find my facebook account, but please ask, first? Just saying...

Thanks for the honesty. I kind of got the feeling you felt that way. I've tried to be careful not to make you feel uncomfortable and explain myself. I've talked to my other friends and they concluded "being in a complicated relationship" yet going on dating sites is pretty sketchy on her part. I'll take that advice to heart.

My intent wasn't to be aggressive. I'm pretty new to Facebook and Facebook etiquette. I'm really, really sorry to have invaded your privacy. Thankfully, you're the only one to react this way out of my friends. Hopefully with your advice you'll be the only one.

My advice to you, however, is to be a little more communicative. If you're trying to impress upon me how much you value privacy you could have talked to me in a private message. Feels equally weird for me to be called out in public out of the blue. I don't have to have stalked you to discover we go to the same anime groups on Facebook. And I only commented and liked a post.

It's fine. And yeah, I should have. Sorry about that. But also, I've been stalked before and it started off like that... So it scared me. Sorry, again, for calling you out...