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Sex before marriage.

miarin
Mar 20, 15 at 2:13pm
I see that same issue with some of my friends as well kohagura, gotta agree with you on that.
yuusaku_godai
I agree Kohagura-san, I know I'm not gonna settle on anyone; I desire more. I was on the phone with her when she told him she didn't love him and only married him in fear of dying alone. That... was not comfortable to go through at all. She's fairly religious, taking that into consideration, I try to give her any advice I can when asked. I at least try to encourage her to save her marriage and work on her compatibility. It wasn't until a while ago I said maybe... it'll be best to annul the marriage. She wants to make it work. He does have a few good points. I don't know the man personally; only met him a handful of times. He's lovely devoted to her and won't give up on her. One thing he doesn't understand is that most of the problems in the marriage is because of her. He can't see past this and only sees himself not making her happy. He's... not perceptive. She does like him, I dunno about loving him. Even before he even met him she's battle with depression. She's wanted to just end it all so many times... Emotionally, with the aid of medicine, she's been doing a lot better. They just need to work out their marriage. At least figure out if they want to be with each other. I've never been married so I have no idea what's done the road for me. I do know I don't want to find someone to make me happy, I just want to share my happiness with someone else who already is. I don't believe in that "you complete me" ideology. Oh man... really sided tracked. Okay SEX:
kohagura
Mar 20, 15 at 2:29pm
She is lucky for the medicine working... Medicine never had any effect on me, and for a lot of people makes things worse. @_@ Is she seeing a therapist or psychiatrist? If not, I highly recommend it since they can help both by having someone to talk to, and by offering solutions.
yuusaku_godai
She went to therapy a few times; it's not cheap. She was really afraid of how the medicine would effect her. She knew it can make her worse or have bad side effects. She truly feels lucky that it's working for her and on the first try. Next step is marriage counseling. Hey, if arranged marriages can work, I don't see why theirs cannot. If she doesn't love him know, she still can fall in love with him later down the line.
kohagura
Mar 20, 15 at 2:43pm
That is true. I have heard of dowries where they actually fall in love post-marriage. It's difficult and it really depends on each person, though.
yuusaku_godai
From a friend of mine of a, so far, successful marriage told me this: If possible, marry someone who you can consider your best friend. Not sure if that'll work out for everyone but what she's told me is that: Being lucky enough to marriage your best friend ensures a strong bond that was already established. Why this is important is because there's couples who fall out of love with one another; it does happen. As sad as that can be she said though throughout a marriage, your priorities do change; especially with an expanding family or with age. Love/sex might get set on the back burner but the marriage still functions as it should. That's because your life partner is someone you can get along with with or without it. She's also mentioned the sex is that much better; she has a hunger from what I've been told. Her marriage is a rare one and she's mentioned how she's the one in the marriage that needs sex at least twice a day and the hubby (also friends with) is satisfied with having it a few times a week. She's about 40-ish and him 36-ish? Funny thing is that she was already engaged to someone else before she was "stolen" away.
reisudo
Mar 20, 15 at 9:47pm
Well it all depends. I am fluid like water when it comes to sex. I can have sex with a girl that same night, and not date. I can also date and have sex daily....Or I can date a girl for five years (like my last ex) and not have sex with her? So I let the girl lead it.
kohagura
Mar 20, 15 at 10:23pm
@Yuusaku That's actually something my best friend and I are currently considering. We've known each other for 11 or so years, and honestly, I have never felt anyone who has a stronger bond than us, even guys I've dated for multiple years. We've communicated everything between each other, every feeling and doubt. He's fine with me seeing other people even, and we'll still live together. Well, only time will well.
reisudo
Mar 24, 15 at 1:11am
@Kohagura I had a friend like that, she actually told me if we could do the same but I sort of said no. I felt as if something went wrong it would ruin a long friendship.
wallace614
Mar 24, 15 at 9:15pm
Does butsax counts
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