You Can't Go Looking for Love

Alright, I didn't think I would need to write something like this, but I feel I should. When I first joined this site I honestly didn't even know if was a dating site. I was oblivious to the hearts within the logo. Though, I'm not against the idea of dating. The main reason I came to this site was because I had been cheated on by my ex and I just wanted someone to talk with about anime, text, possibly play a game online with . You see, I've always been a weirdo around where I live and I'm fine with that. It's just that even within my various hobbies I still don't fit in all that much! For instance I mainly watch dub instead of sub and I don't really enjoy games like Call of Duty, Battlefield, Assassin's Creed. The more I thought about my hobbies the more I realized this site is kinda weird for me. My ex cheated on and left me because I'm a big dork. Hurt me a whole lot, but I still keep hope of finding a girl I truly love. That's just my point though, I can't force myself to go out and find it. All my friends and antiquates tell me that "love will find me", and I can understand their logic. Thing is though, I rarely find people who have similar interest as me and when I do the usual reactions are "Ew! Dubbed? English anime is gross", or "Nintendo? That's kids stuff". So, after thinking about it I can't just go out and start flirting with girls (not that I ever have). It's not in my nature and I'm alright with that. I'm often told I'm too mature for my age and I should go out and party more often, but that's really not my thing. Nor do I even care to go to bars. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that you shouldn't expect to get a girlfriend or boyfriend on this site "like that". It's still my idea that relationships should be fallen into over time with true emotional attachment. Even after all the hurt I've been though these past couple of months I won't fall as low as "finding a rebound", because that's just it's own kind of cruel. Anime and manga are great starting grounds for similar interest, but that shouldn't be the only thing you should think of when considering a significant other. Sorry if this rant seems a little out of place, but I didn't know where else to categorize it. Thanks for reading.

While there are many interesting points you bring up, here is where I feel maybe I can show another perspective. Now, I'm not the typical, twirl my hair and bat my eyelashes kind of flirty girl. So I can understand not putting yourself out there, but with that being said when you said you shouldn't be so quick to say don't try to look for it. I think it's insanely attractive when guys take the initiative. I'm shy so it's not easy for me to go up to a guy I think is cute. I've done so many times and I've always get turned down, sometimes even rudely. So if a guy wants to talk to me, he should do so. Not to mention I don't think it's right for women to chase after a guy or ask them on dates. Not trying to gender stereotype especially since it's normal for girls to ask for numbers and such in this day and age, but personally I feel that it shouldn't be that way. It's hard to put yourself out there especially when looking for someone to date. There is a lot of people out there which means you'll definitely find someone who's into that stuff, even more on here since it's a site for that main reason even though it lacks the feel of a dating site. Best advice I can give, don't give up. You won't know until you take a chance.

I forgot to also mention that I agree that love doesn't happen just overnight, no matter how cool anyone you talk to on this site is, making a connection isn't gonna happen instantly. It takes a bit of time.

It's not so much me not being myself. I'm proud of who I am and my hobbies and I'm not going to change any time soon. I don't think I was very clear in my post, my apologies. When I say "can't go looking for love", I mean you shouldn't expect to fall in love with a girl and her feel the same. It's something that needs to be worked at. The few relationships I've been in were all with girls I dated within 2 weeks of knowing them, so I don't want to make that mistake again. I'm really not trying to sound like a downer here, so sorry if it came off that way. My whole idea of a relationship is two people who immensely care for one another and help each other build upon themselves to continue to become even better people. They should feel whole even when they aren't together.

Possibly, but I have no way of knowing if that'll happen and I'm fine with that. I really t appreciate the conversation here though. I just have the fear of being put through the same pain again, but I suppose that's something I'll need to risk eventually. I dunno. This is why I don't understand when people call me too mature. XD

You are very true. If anime and manga are the only things you have in common then yeh you aren't meant to be but look at it like this. What you should be looking for on this site isn't a lover but a friend because that's really all girlfriends are don't you think? I agree "love will find you" is a little outdated