The dreaded 'friendzone'

I replied to this subject awhile back once before. You know the friend zone is totally stupid. You're either already a friend or in a relationship. If they tell you they like someone else, you're already in that position to start. I'm not really going to rant on this again so yeah lol.

@Silver's Silent, Yeh I agree with ya, its annoying but for me I don't care if I am in the zone or not, there are ways out of it if you want to date that person.

There's this one guy that I like. I've known him since grade school. We hangout just the two of us once in a while but he never told me that he liked me. I've been waiting like forever. I guess he just wants us to be friends only so I already accepted that a long time ago. /friendzoned </3

It is always the issue of putting your feeling out there in plain view that both parties understand the situation at hand. The problem with most of us is the dreaded answer that comes after that and changing the current relationship forever which most of us cannot handle.

I just encountered this with a girl I met at a convention. It's a long story so I'm just going to generalize it. She lives kind of far so we just message each other. I talked to her damn near every day for a year. I became really close to her, closer than I ever have with any other girl in my life. Then one day I decide to just go ahead and ask her if she would be interested in being in a relationship with me. She tells me she has a boyfriend that she's been with for years. She was afraid of telling me because she didn't want to lose me as a friend. It's killing me, ruining my life, but I can't possibly let her go now.

I completely sympathize. I too was in the same situation. She lived about 80 miles away and I was the only one with a car. I fell head over heals for her and spilled my heart out to her. I knew it was a mistake when I was doing it, but for reasons unknown to me, I couldn't not tell her how I felt. I would walk around with my ipod all day every day, waiting for the little messenger chime. She wasn't in a relationship, but I later learned that she still had feelings for her ex. She probably still wanted to be my friend but I couldn't accept that because it would have killed me to keep talking to her, knowing how I still felt about her and not being able to do anything about it. Also, I was going to be shipping out for navy boot-camp later in the year and I have a problem befriending people I can't meet with in person. Despite my feelings and her's, I decided it would be better for both of us if we just stopped communicating. After we did, I immediately felt better. No one in this situation did anything wrong per say, it just wasn't going to work out. However, I do have a suggestions for all females on this site. Please don't break up with a guy slowly. It is agonizing. If you know you never intend to be in a relationship with him or no longer want to, tell him straight out. Yes he might get hurt in the short term, but not nearly as much as if you draw out the end. You see, most guys don't get the subtle cues that convey you aren't interested anymore. We would all be more than grateful if you just tell us in your own words. You don't have to be mean about it, but don't beat around the bush either. It cause more harm than good.