hollowkirito_7

I guess i can understand what everyone is saying but myself as a person when I'm out in a new place especially around new people i tend to be more shy and even if you ask a lot of my family They'll tell you if i don't fill comfortable i will sit or stand off by the side and not say anything now i get you have to put effort into forming a real relationship the one time i truly felt i put myself out there i got no real response now as many people know if you want to meet someone you normally have to go out and to go out you need money and time I'm not saying I'm poor but i get a check every month because I'm on dialysis for kidney disease and dialysis may help you but it can leave you weak and exhausted so when i don't fill like the life has been sucked out of me i only have so much money because half of my check goes to rent the rest daily living and to top it all off the places i do go that i would find people with some of the same interest as mine are all in a relationship already or not looking for one so to really get to my point what I'm i really suppose to do because i just feel so alone sometimes and i fill like being dead is better then being alone the rest of your life and I'm sorry if this is to long and depressing it's just how i fill because i never told anyone i really know how i really fill about my life