angelaria

I'm a girl, and the problem I have with desperate guys (I've encountered several) is that they only want to date me because I'm compassionate, open, and accepting. Now, this could be a great thing, if the guy was also some of those traits, as we could make a great team, and that's something very important to me! However, every single one of the guys who have wanted to date me, who all seemed desperate, acted like they wanted me to be more of a mother to them. I'm strong-spirited, and I want my partner to be able to stand on his own, too. None of those guys were capable of that. They wanted me to hold their hand like a parent or guardian. They wanted me to save them.. to MAKE them stronger just by being with them.. they did not want to become stronger of their own will, which is the only way it'll happen in the end. They also wanted to move very fast, and were far too sexual-oriented for my tastes. I don't want to do it every night. Sex is hardly of much importance to me.. I'll do it more often than I care to if they enjoy it, but it really bothers me, the amount of importance they gave sex.

(If you're a rulefag or a sciencefag, you may as well leave now.) Alright, from what I've experienced on this site so far, I'm probably going to come off as a picky little bitch to a lot of you, and I apologize. I thought hard about all of my social experiences lately, and the following is what I came up with to post on various sites: Well, I have a rather chaotic backstory, especially lately (I hear it's book-worthy) but basically I'm 19 years old and just moved into a house I paid fully for myself. I had the money to do so because my father passed away in June. My mom isn't worth mentioning. The fact that even when I lived with an adult I saw them as a good friend who was helping me out with shelter and food rather than some sort of authority figure who knew best, though no one has said it outright, I get the impression that it really intimidates everyone I talk to, even though I have a very sweet and bubbly-anime-girl-type personality (as well as being dead serious, but I only act that way when I need to). Those who aren't intimidated are ones who want to treat me like an alien specimen, because my ideas are so foreign in this current society, and my personality, combined with my past, so "odd." Desperate guys want to date me just because I'm apparently "different" from the rest they know. All my previous friends turned out to be one of the bottom 2 (I never fully became acquainted with anyone who seemed intimidated by me, for lack of interest), and I just lost my best friend, the only one I knew who was like me in the ways mentioned above, because she couldn't get over her traumatic past and ended up letting it control her. Now, being honest, the anime fanbase isn't my favorite, no matter how much I love anime itself (though the spiritual/paranormal will always be my #1 passion). Lots of spoiled brats, which lead to the above-mentioned problems. (Not trying to offend anyone here @__@) I probably can't have much respect for you if you're a near-30 basement dweller in your parent's house. But there are always good people in any fanbase, too. (Well, most) I do like to talk about anime and it's related things, but it's by far not the only thing I'm into. I actually get quite bored when someone only ever wants to talk about anime and games, for months on end.. I always wonder if that's all there is to their life.. and generally, that's the case, and there goes my interest in them. I'm attracted to people with much more in their lives than a single hobby, and I don't mean they have to be a time traveller/ghost/esper or have special skills or anything like that. The other problem is what I like to call "monochrome people," who I have been meeting quite a bit lately.. whether they've been that way from when I met them, or turned into that after time passed. Put simply, talking to these people is like talking to a rock. They don't particularly care about anything, never try their best, have no real dreams or aspirations, and show little to no emotion. I find that half of the ones I've spoken with also strongly reject anything that differs whatsoever from the socially accepted "norm," which really makes them incompatible with me. The ones that don't.. I always wish to try and get them to be more excited about living.. but.. in the end, they just want to stay depressed (can it even be called that? These people don't even show depression.. just nothingness.) You can't help someone if they don't have the will to try on their own. I believe in good will towards all people, and just staying away from those who hurt you, but these people.. frankly, I'm quite sick of them. Because I've always been strong-spirited, I can't fully understand why some are so weak. However, if you're nice and are trying however you can, I have respect. Those who are so blank they don't even show depression, especially when they've had no sad past, and just don't care about anything.. there's no excuse for that. Anyway, just check out my profile, as it is quite detailed (I also can tell you of a book that describes my beliefs perfectly) and message me anywhere in my contact info, or here if you wish. =) If you are like any of the types of people I mentioned above, for god's sake, do NOT contact me! I can tell who's like that much more easily now. Also, I can't stand rule/lawfags. My personality in this post seems monochrome itself, and I apologize, but I find when I act normally, it brings around more trolls and bad people. x__x; Also, I'll ignore any replies to this topic, as it's most likely just going to be full of people bashing me. If you really want to talk to me, I'd rather do it privately anyway. Also, someone replied with this on my MyAnimeList topic: "I hope you find someone who finds that stuff interesting. I don't think that stuff is bullshit, but I don't really want to think about the ''real world' anymore, it's just too depressing for me." Guys... because 99% of people have these exact same thoughts, that's why the world is depressing to begin with. People think they're powerless and can't do anything. Well.. "changing the world" is difficult, especially when the people in power have some very dark hidden agendas (and we're not talking on a mere "IWANTTOBERICHBWAHAHA" level). I recommend every single one of you read this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1585428698/ [I had these views long before I discovered this book, to any of you who might drill me with the "This is actually just fictional and you were influenced like a little kid watching Harry Potter" crap.] The world needs help, sure. But do you know what the core of all of it is? The people in power? Sure, they're far more evil than you think, and have made messes. Big misses. But if everyone believed in their own ability and potential, those demons wouldn't be able to have their way - they'd be overthrown easily. That potential isn't the potential a "hero" would have.. we're talking just having basic compassion for everyone, trying to understand where people come from, criminal or not, friend or not. To "save" someone, truly.. all you need do is have basic respect. If everyone could do that, and work on developing themselves, becoming more in-tune with their souls, facing their fears and weaknesses.. the world would be different, indeed. To simply become stronger and have respect.. that's all. The rest would follow naturally after that. Don't trust the government or social norms just because. Everything is explained in that book, to anyone who cares. I can help you understand it if you need.. that is the book's one weakness.. it can be VERY hard to understand for those who have never stepped outside the normal ideas of society. It's plain english.. it's the ideas that are so seemingly foreign, yet undeniably true. Oh my. I just typed some stuff that will cause a major sh*tstorm. A sad fact, and that just further proves my point. I'm afraid I'll have to completely ignore this thread, as the replies will merely be raging at what a psycho little girl I am~ In real-life, I can keep casual friends who can't handle these truths, and never say anything about these things whatsoever, and yet still manage to enjoy myself with them. But on the internet, I open my mouth and speak what I truly want to. I can't help it, you see.. for I long for true companions. That is why I post this everywhere I can, despite the fact that most people will think I'm just insane. I'm probably even misunderstood by my own kind who come across this.. thinking I lack respect for those who are brainwashed, and am too harsh with them. But I find when I act happy and bubbly like usual, and use that tone with these things, I am taken even less seriously, so I have to act this way, at least on a public post. Now, my ultimate goal is to find companions who aren't like the people I mentioned way up there. One person's reply, which I posted at the beginning of this segment, just really set me off, and I decided to add all this in. I apologize for the length, but I suppose, if you can't handle text walls, you can't handle being a friend of mine, sadly. [[[Since most of the replies are going to be unintelligent bashing by people who read half the post, if you want to talk to me, my Skype is sarahmikan, and facebook url is /aria.mikan. I'm much more cheery in private, so don't be afraid!]]] If you want to start a fight and argue and bash me for being insane just because your parents and friends tell you so, please save yourself the trouble and don't bother talking to me. I don't reply at all to rude people, and you'll be blocked. I make this post for the few who can understand, whether currently or potentially (though everyone potentially could, believe it or not), and I ask it not be deleted. It's not my intention to cause a bashing thread.. it happens because of people's ignorance, and I can't control that. If you add me on Skype, please send a message with it stating your intentions, so I know you're not a troll.